I can recall the times I didn’t understand what my mom was going through with her mental illness (Schizophrenia) I said some pretty cruel things to her.  But I am thankful that when she finally received the help she needed and deserved we established a very strong relationship.  As an adult I can’t imagine ever speaking to my mom in the manner I have heard others speak to there parents.  It’s almost like a self entitlement attitude is among us.  We owe them for our mistakes we are blamed because something in there lives hasn’t worked out as planned.  They don’t manage money well because we failed them as parents.  If we don’t drop everything when expected to then we aren’t a good parent and they want to push us away because life with out us to them seems like it would be far better.

I was speaking to a friend of mine and she is dealing with this issue.  If she doesn’t give her sons the answer or respond in action the way they see fit then they get mad and tell her they hate her or she is a bad mom.  So many moms are out in the work force working many hours in home and out of home. I believe we all make mistakes and many of us would do things differently but we don’t have to pay for our mistakes or being the excuse each time our children don’t agree with us or get there way.  As parent we never stop loving our children no matter what the age.  But as adult children we hold there actions at a higher level because they should know better.

I don’t believe it is our place to make decisions for them or try and live there lives when they become adults out on there own.  We can give our opinions when spoken to about the situation but in the end it is there decision.  So if they choose to not want us in there lives then why battle it?  Yes it’s hurtful but one day they will realize even if it takes us being gone to realize they did this to themselves.  I can’t imagine any parent wanting to not be in there children’s lives.  We love our kids unconditional even when the words spoken from there mouths can cut to the core but I would rather be wanted in there lives then force myself into them wanting me there.

 

 

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